Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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