from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
