i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
