Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
