Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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