Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
