i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
