Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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