Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
