If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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