I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
