They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
