how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
