Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
