There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
