we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
