So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can't turn off my feet"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
