I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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