Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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