I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
