She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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