Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
