So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize