There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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