Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
