Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
