I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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