He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
