none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
