Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
