My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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