I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
