my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
