Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
