my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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