is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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