did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
