so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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