I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
