she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
