My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
