just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
