2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
