fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
