Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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