whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
