im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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