just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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