found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
