A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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