You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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