if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
