Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i think i have herpe
just one?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
