i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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